when will a husband and wife who are widely rumored to be vampires invite me up to their once-gorgeous mansion which has fallen into some disrepair and then serve a beautiful meal that they barely pick at, sipping from glasses of dry red wine instead as they take turns complimenting me borderline-salaciously while shooting each other conspiratorial looks that i don’t know how to interpret before one of them insists that it’s getting far too late for me to be going back home alone and now i simply must spend the night…..
in case the implied ending wasn’t clear enough: and then i get railed.
september is coming up so here’s your yearly reminder to leave billie joe armstrong the fuck alone
Well of course. We don’t wake him up until October 1st.
His dad is dead, just don’t.
In case anyone reading my blog is unaware, this is a reference to the Green Day song titled “Wake Me Up When September Ends” a song that Billie Joe Armstrong wrote following the death of his father in September of 1982 when Billie Joe was ten years old. The title of the song references his desire to sleep through September in an effort to get some emotional distance from the death of his father.
He’s since been open about the emotional difficulty of having written the song since many people now message him on October 1st to ‘wake him up’ despite the song being a memorial to his departed father.
It’s generally seen as respectful to not try to wake him up. Let him sleep and let him remember his father in peace.
reblogging again because the end of September is coming up. leave him alone.
Reblogging as a reminder to leave Billie Joe Armstrong the fuck alone on October 1st and any day after it if your message is going to contain anything to do with “waking” him up because September will be over.
When ants die, a few days later they emit oleic acid, which tells the living ants to dispose of their corpse.
A myrmecologist named Ed Wilson discovered this and dropped the chemical on a living ant. It was immediately carried off, despite the fact that it was still moving, and clearly not dead.
“I’M GETTING BETTER”
Bring out your dead. Eh, close enough.
IM NOT YET DEAD SIR
You left out the part where the ant, believing HERSELF to be dead, stayed in self imposed exile in the ant graveyard until the acid wore off and she realized she was not supposed to be in the ant graveyard.
sorry but if your bed isn’t against at least one wall you’re not valid
I used to think this post was stupid because most people like both sides of the bed free but then I realized some psychopaths put their bed like this so not even the headboard is against a wall and this post is about these animals.
A single person’s bed is generally against 2 walls, a couple’s bed is generally against 1 wall, and people with 0 walls have no fear of the dark/unseen with direct access to their head, and therefore cannot be human.
ok the bed just out in the middle of the room is bad but have you considered: only the footboard end against a wall
no i hadn’t. why would you put that image into my head?
i’ve been doing my homework on how to break into a writing career and honestly. there’s a Lot that i didn’t know about thats critical to a writing career in this day and age, and on the one hand, its understandable because we’re experiencing a massive cultural shift, but on the other hand, writers who do not have formal training in school or don’t have the connections to learn more via social osmosis end up extremely out of loop and working at a disadvantage.
like, i didnt know about twitter pitch parties!! i didnt know about literary agents and publishers tweeting their manuscript wishlist, in hopes that some poor soul out there has written the book they really want to read and publish!! this isnt some shit you learn about in school! you really need to know the ins and outs of the writing community to be successful!
for anyone interested, here’s what i’ve learned so far in my quest for more writing knowledge:
1. Writer’s Market 2019 is a great place to start– it gives you a list of magazines and journals that you can send your work to depending on the genre as well as lists a shit ton of literary agents that specify what genres they represent, how you can get in contact with them and how they accept query letters. this is a book that updates every year and tbh i only bought it this year so i dont know how critical it is to have an updated version
2. do your research. mostly on literary agents because if you listed on your site that you like to represent fluffy YA novels and some asshole sends you a 80k manuscript about like…gritty viking culture, you will be severely pissed off. always go in finding someone who you know will actually like your work because they’re the ones who will try to advocate for you in getting published.
3. learn how to write a query letter. there are slightly varying formulas to how you can write an effective query letter. you’re also going to want to get feedback on your query letter because its the first thing the literary agent will read and based on how well you do it, it could be the difference between them rejecting you outright and giving your manuscript a quick read
4. unfortunately, you’re gonna want to get a twitter. Twitter is where a lot of literary agents are nowadays, and they host things like twitter pitch parties, where you pitch your manuscript in a few sentences and hashtag it with #Pitmad #Pitdark, some version of pit. a lot of literary agents and publishers will ALSO post their manuscript wishlists, which is just the kind of books they’d like to represent/publish, and they hashtag this with #MSWL (it is NOT for writers to use, only for agents/publishers)
5. connect with other writers, literary agents, publishers at book events. you will absolutely need the connections if you want to get ahead as a writer. thats just kind of the state of the world.
Townie fb groups are a strong hobby and interest of mine. They really are a slice of life. It feels like being in a parks and rec town meeting. They’re incredible and each one is special in its own way
One of the ones I’m in has a weekly 100 comment gladiator battle over whether or not there is parking downtown. People are constantly posting pics of empty spots they see to prove there is plenty, and pics of cars to prove there is none. Someone just got angry enough to call another guy “Spanky.” What does that even mean. I love these people so much
Some of you will see the warning on q-tips saying “don’t insert into ear canal” and take it seriously like some kind of chump. They want your ears full up so you can’t hear the world around you. My shits so polished clean I can hear the constant shriek of the earth turning on its axis.
